Togo Gets Wasted
by Erebus Kioku
Summary: Togo, against her better judgement, eats a brownie at Sonoko's without realising that it has a 'special ingredient' in it. She then tries to make her way home, with limited success.
Here's a fic about Togo accidentally getting high on weed. I was going to publish it here on 4/20, but there were problems and such. Still, here it is now. Enjoy.

* * *

"Sonnochi, are you home?" Togo called, knocking on the door again. Her forehead creased as the seconds ticked by. They were supposed to meet up today and go for a walk as part of their recovery, but just lately Sonoko had forgotten to come to a few prearranged meetings, not just with her but with their other friends too. Togo was starting to worry about her memory. The thought that she was having dizzy spells like Yuna and was hiding them from everyone had crossed her mind as well. She'd sent the girl a few texts, but hadn't received a reply so far.

"Sonnochi, are you in there?" she called again. "I'm going to come in." She turned the handle and stepped inside. "Sorry for the intrusion," she said apologetically. Sonoko's shoes were in the entrance way, so she was obviously home. "Sonnochi?"

She looked in the living room and dining room, seeing no sign of her friend, then checked the kitchen. No sign of the girl in here either, but there were signs of life. There on the table was a baking tin, half filled with what appeared to be brownies, a particularly rich western dessert. Togo tutted and shook her head in disappointment. How many times had she told Sonoko about the inherent superiority of Japanese cuisine? Clearly she hadn't convinced her. This called for immediate action, she'd have to go into overdrive in the kitchen and make as many different types of Japanese sweets as she could. Not just for Sonoko mind you, if even her old friend wasn't converted then she was sure that the others weren't either, even if they did pay lip service to her botamochi.

Her traitorous stomach let out a loud growl at that very moment. She blushed, glad no one else was there. In her haste leaving this morning (not that there'd been any need to in the end) she'd missed out on lunch, not having had chance to buy something when she was waiting for Sonoko. Her eyes drifted to the brownies, then she caught herself with a start. ' _Good grief, how can I be thinking about converting people to Japanese sweets one minute and be tempted by western gloop the next? How embarrassing._ ' She was disappointed in herself even more than she was with Sonoko. Her stomach growled again despite her wishes. "Tch…"

Thankfully her phone alerted her to a message, distracting her.

" _Sorry Washii I woke up this morning and remembered I had an important appointment. I was going to text you to tell you but I forgot. Sorry I'll make it up to you next time._ "

 _'Honestly…still, at least she's okay. Her memory certainly seems to be a problem though, she didn't even lock her door. I'll have to have words with her about it._ ' She wondered about the shoes in the entrance for a moment, then came to the conclusion that Sonoko had just brought a new pair. Her stomach growled yet again, painfully this time. "Ugh…"

She felt a little light headed actually…those brownies sure did smell good… ' _No, I mustn't! Not only are they inferior to Japanese sweets but it would be rude to eat any without asking first…and I certainly don't want her to know I've even considered such a thing, let alone done it._ ' But, there was no way she'd know, right? It wasn't like Sonoko would be keeping track of the exact number or anything, besides, eating this many brownies by herself wasn't good for her, so Togo would be doing her favour really.

' _What a weak rationalisation…_ ' she thought. Her stomach, however, disagreed with her. ' _Ah…I'm so hungry…it can't be helped. I'll make it up to her by showing her how much more delicious Japanese sweets are. Besides, this wouldn't be happening if she'd remembered to text me._ ' Although she knew her reasoning was feeble, it was enough to satisfy her hungry mind. Looking around guiltily, she picked up a brownie and hastily shoved it into her mouth, swallowing it almost whole. It had a peculiar flavour and mouth feel, but she chalked that up to the inferiority of western food. Her stomach somewhat quieted, she left the apartment, deciding to eat her lunch at a nearby Japanese restaurant to make up for her momentary lapse of patriotism.

* * *

Ten minutes later, Nogi Sonoko walked unsteadily out of her room and blinked, reddened eyes squinting heavily. "Whoa…" she breathed, marveling at the dotted pattern on her carpet. Swaying the whole while, she headed to the kitchen and sat down clumsily, somehow managing to grab a glass of water on the way. She downed it and sat back in the chair listlessly. Sending that text to Washii had really stretched her brain to its limit (it had taken her a whole half an hour), but she thought it was convincing enough. She'd have to find a way to make up for forgetting their walk to the girl when she'd sobered up. Now she needed another rest after rehydrating herself. "Heh heh heh…rehydrating," she sniggered, although she wasn't quite sure whether she actually found the word funny or not.

She looked at the baking tray, trying to weigh up whether or not to have another brownie today, but… "Holy hell, one of them disappeared!" she goggled. "Where did it go?" Her mind raced to come up with an explanation. "Maybe…maybe one of those…'spontaneously appearing miniature black holes'…appeared in my kitchen…and swallowed one of the brownies!" Dear Shinju-sama, how horrifying! It could have been her that was swallowed instead! "That was close…" she shuddered. "Life is so transient…yes, this just goes to show that we should all appreciate the time we have, it could be cut short at any moment," she thought profoundly, nodding her head with a grave look on her face. She sat there nodding her head absentmindedly for five minutes, then noticed that she was still doing it and stopped. Her high had worn off enough by this point for her logical mind to make a come back.

"Oh honestly…'spontaneously appearing black holes'? I must have had more than I thought… yes, I think that's enough brownies for today." Making up for lost time was one thing, but she'd been going overboard just lately. It wasn't surprising though, two years of being bed bound did tend to make one eager to experience the baser pleasures of life. She nodded again, pleased with the deeper understanding she was achieving of the meaning of existence.

* * *

Togo exited the restaurant she'd had her belated lunch at 45 minutes later and started walking home, however as she walked along the street her pace slowed. ' _Ahh…the weather today is so wonderful. Spring truly is a blessed season, it makes one glad to be alive,_ ' she thought to herself, a small smile making it's way to her face. ' _It seems like a shame a squander it indoors…I'm sure it wouldn't hurt to make a small detour._ ' Yes, it wouldn't hurt at all. Days like this were surely granted to them by the Shinju-sama to be enjoyed. Spiritual feelings welled up in her, and she offered the Shinju-sama a prayer of thanks.

"I'll take a walk in the park, it is cherry season after all. Ah, the cherry blossoms remind me of Yuna-chan…apart from them dying off after a few days. That wouldn't be any good at all," she frowned, shaking her head. Suddenly overcome with worry she pulled out her phone and sent Yuna a text.

" _Yuna-chan are you still alive?_ " It didn't hurt to check after all. She stared at her phone for a near infinite amount of time, waiting for a response. Finally, just as she was preparing to run over to Yuna's house to check her vitals, she got a reply.

" _Eh? Of course I'm still alive Togo-san, why'd you ask? Did something happen?_ "

Togo breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank goodness."

" _Nothing happened, I was just thinking about the fragility of life. We mustn't forget how blessed we are to be alive and healthy in this season especially._ "

Her phone beeped again. " _I don"t really understand what you're saying, but if you want to talk about something I'm here. Remember, if you're troubled then talk to someone!_ "

"Oh Yuna-chan, you're such a wonderful girl…I love you so much…!" Togo choked. Her fingers flew across the keypad, writing down exactly what she thought of her beloved friend. She went to hit send, but found herself hesitating for some reason. A tiny voice in the back of her mind told her she was about to make a complete fool of herself and that she'd regret this. Her finger hovered over the phone uncertainly. Her mind warred with itself furiously and eventually she couldn't take it anymore. Acting all by itself, her arm flung itself through the air and released the phone, sending it flying into the nearby river. She stared after it in confusion, then looked at her arm. "You did that to save me…? Thank you…" she whispered reverently, stroking it in gratitude.

"Wait, I'm at the park? When did that happen?" Togo looked around in confusion, failing to notice the nervous stares people were starting to give her. "Oh well, I was planning on coming here anyway. I suppose it doesn't really matter how I got here."

She decided to go for the walk she'd decided on earlier. "I'll go around the whole park, I was supposed to go for a long walk today anyway." She set off at a slow pace, marveling at the way the sunlight shimmered through the blossoms and across the surface of the water. She flung her arms out and spun around, ponytail flying out behind her, fully taking in the bounty of nature, until she stopped by one of the park benches. The empty space around her grew even larger as people started to edge away. "Haah…I don't want to walk any further," she groused, sitting down. "I don't really feel like doing much of anything actually… maybe my blood sugar is dropping after eating that brownie…"

' _That's what you get for eating degenerate food,_ ' the shrinking part of her rational mind complained. For once however, Togo disagreed. "No, I've surely been too harsh on it," she emoted, waving her arms around as she spoke. "It's true that Japanese food is superior, but I'm sure that both Japanese and Western food can coexist with each other…maybe even complement each other! And I'm sure that both the east and the west could have gotten along as well…if the Westerners hadn't gone and all died at any rate," she mused. "We're all human beings after all." The last remaining part of her normal mind screamed, then died.

Togo leaned back and breathed in the clear air, then became entranced by the sight of the falling cherry blossoms. ' _I kind of wish I still had my phone so I could text Yuna-chan…_ ' she thought, glaring at her right arm. Guilt suddenly overtook her at the mean thought however. "I'm sorry, I know you were only looking out for me," she said. She patted her arm and smiled.

As the cherry blossoms danced in front of her face, the swirling pattern they formed in the air began to seem strangely amusing to her. The seconds ticked by and the sight grew funnier and funnier to her, prompting her to let out a few sniggers. A gust of wind causing the blossoms to spin in a sudden flurry doubled the hilarity of the scene and she burst into laughter.

"Haha…hahaha…ahhahaha! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" The more she looked the funnier they were. She hunched over, laughing as if she'd overdosed on nitrous oxide. The laughter gripped her body, stealing her breath and preventing her from so much as moving. She shuddered as she tried to regain control of herself, but to no avail. Her chest heaved as she sucked in air between the shrieks of laughter she was letting out and she started to get a stomach ache, though she hardly noticed given the state she was in. The people around her edged even further away. A few minutes later, the laughing fit had subsided enough for her to sit back up and she leaned back against the bench, still releasing the occasional peal of laughter. "Goodness, I wonder what that was about. Maybe I'm coming down with a fever…oh well, I'm sure it won't be serious."

The cherry blossoms were still falling through the air, thankfully that no longer looked hilarious to her and she started to admire their beauty again. "Yes, they certainly do look like Yuna-chan. If only she was here to enjoy them with me. I'll have to come back here tomorrow with her." She reached out and caught one of the blossoms in her hands, admiring the light pink colour. "Yuna-chan loves pink flowers most of all…and I love Yuna-chan most of all. It must be fate!" Looking at the flower, she found herself wondering whether if, since Yuna's favourite flower was the cherry blossom, her lips tasted like cherry blossoms. They were both pink after all, it was only logical. An idea crept into her mind as she sat there.

"If I can't kiss Yuna-chan then…wouldn't this be the next best thing?" Slowly, she brought the flower up towards her mouth, still cupped in both hands. ' _My first kiss with Yuna-chan…_ ' she thought, feeling somewhat light headed. She hesitated for a few moments, then rammed her hands towards her mouth, kissing the flower passionately. "Oh Yuna-chan, Yuna-chan…!" she moaned, smacking the flower with her hungry lips. She nibbled at it, then swirled her tongue around. The impromptu make out session was abruptly halted by a sudden snort of laughter making a come back from earlier. The flower was sucked into her mouth and she gagged on it slightly, then started choking and spluttering, turning sideways and leaning over, gripping onto the bench for support. The coughing fit did little to dislodge it, and in the end she involuntarily swallowed it. "Oh…Yuna-chan became a part of me…how racy. Maybe things are moving a little too fast…" she thought.

Her head had come down to rest on the bench when she was having her coughing fit and now that she was less distracted she could fully appreciate the sensation of the ridges on her head. "Ooh…" She started slowly grinding her forehead into the bench, relishing the feeling. "Ehhehehe…ahh, that's nice…"

"Togo-senpai? A-Are you…okay?"

"Did the bench just speak to me!?" Togo shot up and stared at the bench with wide eyes. "…No, what am I thinking? Benches can't talk…which must mean…there's a human talking to me!" She turned her head, searching for the source of the voice, eyes still wide. Before long, she zoned in on a figure standing almost right in front of her. Said figure was looking at her with no small amount of concern.

"Togo-senpai?" she said, shuffling back nervously at the wild eyed stare she was receiving.

"…...Itsuki-chan! It's you!" Togo exclaimed joyfully.

Itsuki jumped. "Um, are you-"

Togo lurched upright and flung her arms around Itsuki before the younger girl had a chance to react. "Itsuki-chan, you're so cute! You're so cute!" she squealed, rubbing her cheek against Itsuki's vigorously. "You're like a fuzzy little animal who we have to feed and clean up after! Keep being this cute forever!"

"Ah!? Togo-senpai!?" Itsuki froze, then started uncertainly waving her arms around, trying to decide whether to hug her back, risk pushing the suddenly deranged girl away, or some third option that she was desperately trying to come up with. Eventually she settled on the hugging option, hoping that it would satisfy the older girl enough for her to let go. It didn't work.

"Itsuki-chaaan! You should win an award for being so cute!" she shouted, clinging on even tighter and swinging her from side to side.

"Thank you, but maybe you could, um, stop squeezing so tightly…?" Itsuki gasped out, wincing.

"Umuuu…so cuuuute…!"

"Oi, Togo! What the hell are you doing to my poor little sister!?"

' _I'm saved!_ ' Itsuki thought.

Togo looked around in confusion, still not loosening her grip. "Who said that?" she asked no one in particular.

"Behind you, you flag waving fruit loop. You've caused a real scene you know? I can't believe it was actually you. You get carried away with sake tasting or something?"

This was a different voice, stretching Togo's brain to the limit of it's understanding. She let go of Itsuki, to the smaller girls relief, and looked in the direction of the sound. Standing behind her were Fuu and Karin, Fuu looking put out that someone had gushed over her sister more than she usually did and Karin unsubtly filming the display on her phone.

"…Oh, it's you two! Did you come here to enjoy the bounty of nature?" she asked, completely missing the weird looks she was receiving.

"No, we came here because we heard that there was a crazy girl on the loose who happened to match your description," Fuu said. "I mean, at first I thought that there was no way it could be you, but then Yuna texted everyone and said that you'd been saying weird stuff to her before going radio silent, so I figured we should check it out. What's the matter with you all of a sudden? Did you actually get drunk?"

"…Yuna-chan thinks I'm weird?" Togo murmured in a small voice. Tears started to fill her eyes. "She's been making fun of me behind my back?" She tried to keep control of herself, but failed quickly and started crying in earnest, collapsing back onto the bench behind her and hunching over in despair. Itsuki shuffled towards her nervously and starting patting her on the back.

"Er…" Fuu looked at the display helplessly. "What should we do?" she asked, turning to Karin.

"No idea," Karin said, still filming. "Don't worry, she probably won't remember anything when she sobers up."

"Thanks." Fuu sighed and ran her hand down her face, before walking over to the crying girl. "Hey Togo! What I actually meant was, uh, Yuna thought you might have a, er…fever, or something. So she asked us to check on you. It's not like she thinks you're weird or anything."

"R-Really?" Togo sniveled, looking up at her through teary, bloodshot eyes…eyes which had rather large pupils, Fuu noticed.

"Yeah, really. …Togo, have you smoked anything today?" she asked, starting to put two and two together.

"Smoking is bad for you Fuu-senpai," Togo said disapprovingly, frowning at her. "Of course I didn't smoke anything, and neither should you! What kind of example are you setting for poor Itsuki?"

"…Yeah, I'm terrible like that. You should have seen what happened when I shared my cocaine with her."

"What!?" Togo gasped.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding," Fuu said waving her hand, regretting the comment immediately. "But anyway…did you eat anything different today? Maybe a dessert? Like a brownie?"

Togo tensed. "Are you calling me a thief!?" she snapped.

"Er, no?" Fuu said. ' _Paranoia huh? Guess that settles it._ ' The poor girl had managed to get herself high somehow, without even knowing from the looks of it. Figuring out the how of the situation could come later though, for now they had to get her out of public. "Hey Togo? You look pretty tired, how about we go over to your place and talk there?" she said.

Togo stared at her blankly, then sighed heavily and leaned back against the bench. "Haaaah…home's a long way away…and I don't feel like doing anything…"

"Okay…oh wait, I remember that Yuna wanted you to come to her place though. You sure you're not up for the walk?"

"Walk? Are you making fun of me? Making fun of paralysed people is too low, you…bad girl." Fuu tried desperately not to laugh at the squinting, bleary eyed glare that she was being subjected to.

"You, uh, aren't paralysed anymore Togo, remember?"

"…Oh, you're right! How wonderful! Let's go then!" she said.

Several awkward seconds ticked by. "You need to stand up Togo," Fuu prompted her finally.

"Hmm? Ah, that would help I suppose. Silly me!" Togo giggled, then slowly rose to her feet, making it look like an incredible effort. Fuu and Itsuki flanked both sides of her, just in case she fell over or walked into traffic or something, with Karin following close behind, still recording.

"You could at least offer to help you know," Fuu said irritability.

"And miss out on this comedy gold mine? I don't think so," Karin retorted.

"Gold mine? There aren't any gold mines here Karin-chan, don't be silly. If this was a mining town-"

"Hey Togo, what's that over there?" Karin said, pointing to Togo's right.

"Where?"

"Never mind, it's gone." Karin was damned if she was going to listen to a lecture on mining towns for the next half an hour. Although come to think of it, that might have been funny in itself. Oh well.

* * *

At an agonisingly slow pace they managed to lead the stoned girl to Yuna's house, having to stop every minute or so while she became entranced by every stray butterfly or brightly coloured car that went past. "Finally… we're here Togo. Let's go in," Fuu said.

"Ooh, really? That was fast," Togo said.

"No, it really wasn't," Fuu mumbled. Itsuki had texted Yuna to forewarn her and she was waiting by her front door for them to arrive, worried expression on her face. She hurried over to them and as she did Togo noticed that she was wearing a pink shirt.

"Are you okay Togo-san?" she asked, holding Togo's hands in her own and studying her face intently for signs of harm. Togo grinned at her moronically.

"You're pink," she sniggered.

"I-I, guess…?" Yuna said and looked to Fuu for guidance. Fuu shrugged.

"Er, come in and sit down Togo-san. I want you to teach me about Japanese history!" Yuna said, figuring this must be the best way to get her attention.

Togo's face lit up. She might have moderated her stance recently, but that didn't mean she loved her glorious nation any less. "You want to learn about Japanese history? How wonderful! Let's go!" she cheered.

She walked into the house and tried to make her way up to Yuna's bedroom. However, her coordination, impaired by the copious amount of cannabis in her system, failed her and when she was a mere three steps up the stairs she fell down them heavily.

"Ah, Togo-san! Are you okay!?" Yuna shouted, rushing over to her. The others followed after her, torn between concern and amusement at the stunned look on the stoned girls face.

Togo stared at Yuna dumbly for a moment. "I'm okay I think," she said, confusion as to why she was suddenly so clumsy distracting her. Yuna helped her to her feet. "I wonder if I'm coming down with something," she wondered.

Yuna smiled at her. "That might be it. Why don't you lie down for a while and see if you can shake it off before it turns into something worse?"

"Yes, that's a good idea. You're so clever Yuna-chan!" she giggled, patting the shorter girl on the head. Yuna felt a little patronised.

"Um, can you help her upstairs everyone? I'll make some tea to…relax her, I guess."

"Sure, I'll carry the useless pothead up over my shoulder if I have to," Karin said. "Maybe a bit of caffeine will help her shape up. …Actually, I could run home and fetch some caffeine pills and we could see if that helps…"

"Um, maybe we should let it wear off naturally…" Yuna said with a wince, really not wanting to see what would happen if Karin started trying to drug Togo back to normality.

Less diplomatically, Fuu swatted Karin around the head. "Oi, don't take this as an opportunity to start peddling your own drugs! Honestly…"

"Whaddaya mean drugs!? They're supplements! Supplements!" Karin snapped, shoot Fuu an offended glare.

Itsuki stepped between them and raised her hands in a placating gesture. "Now now, let's not argue at a time like this…" she said nervously. "We're supposed to be looking after Togo-senpai, remember?"

Togo was squinting at them disapprovingly. "Drugs are bad Karin-chan, it's unpatriotic to do something which could lessen your ability to defend your country," she lectured.

Karin's eyelid twitched. "Why am I the one being lectured!? You've all got some nerve…" she growled.

"L-Let's just help Togo-senpai upstairs, okay?" Itsuki said.

"Hmph…fine."

With some effort, they got Togo safely upstairs and sat her down on Yuna's bed. "Wow, I never noticed how soft and squishy Yuna-chan's bed is before," she said in total fascination. "Just like Yuna-chan's cute face!"

"Is that supposed to be a compliment? I'm not sure it passes muster," Fuu said to herself.

"Did I ever tell you all about the Meiji reformation?" Togo asked out of the blue.

"Yes, yes you have," Karin said. Togo had told them all about it along with all of the other important events in Japanese history, so often that none of them would ever forget any of it.

"Really? Even so, it's an important part of our nations history so maybe I should tell you again. The initial-"

"I made some tea for you Togo-san! Here, be careful you don't spill it," Yuna said, skillfully derailing the upcoming lecture.

"Oh, thank you Yuna-chan. You're such a nice girl," Togo said, accepting the cup. Yuna carefully held onto it as long as possible in case her stoned friend ended up dropping it, and afterwards sat next to Togo, hand held close enough to Togo's hands that she could stop the cup falling if Togo forgot about it.

"So how long is this going to take to wear off?" Karin asked, leaning against Yuna's dresser with her arms folded.

Fuu was sitting straggling Yuna's chair, arms resting on the back and chin resting on her arms. "Beats me. I guess it depends how much she a-ate," she said, trying to suppress laughter at the sight of Togo dribbling down herself, not noticing at first but then looking down at herself in bewilderment, wiping uselessly at her clothes. Yuna fetched some tissues and cleaned her up.

"Maybe we should tell her to go to sleep, she can't get into any trouble if she's not awake, right?" Itsuki said from her position on the bottom end of the bed.

"I guess. This is pretty funny, but I dunno if we can keep her from doing something dangerous for much longer," Karin said. Togo had just tried to take her wet dress off in front of everyone before Yuna had stopped her.

"Wait, I was going to tell you about Japanese history Yuna-chan!" Togo exclaimed, suddenly remembering her earlier promise. "Where should I start…"

' _Oh Shinju-sama no,_ ' everyone thought to themselves.

"Um, actually Togo-san, we were just saying that maybe you should get some rest and see if you can fight off this cold you're coming down with before it gets worse," Itsuki said. "You can't teach us about Japanese history properly if you're sick, right?"

Togo frowned, deep concentration showing on her face. "That is true, it would be terrible if I left out details because of illness. Maybe I should get some sleep…do you mind if I take a nap on your nice soft bed Yuna-chan?" she asked.

"Of course not Togo-san, lie down and get some rest. I bet you'll feel much more like your normal self when you wake up!" Yuna said in a relieved tone. She didn't know much longer she could keep her friend from doing something really embarrassing. She pulled the covers back and guided Togo into bed, tucking her in. The rest of them had quietly filed out already and after deciding that Togo was less likely to get up if she wasn't there, Yuna followed them out and they crept downstairs.

"Well that sure was something," Fuu said, breaking the silence that had descended upon them. "How do you reckon she got herself wasted?"

"I have no idea…I'm sure she wouldn't have done it on purpose, but I don't know how she could have done it accidentally either," Yuna said, brow creasing.

"I've got a pretty good idea actually," Karin said. "She was supposed to be meeting Sonoko today, right? I think the reason Sonoko's been missing so much just lately and looking so spaced out when she is around is obvious now."

"Eh? You really think so?" Itsuki asked with widened eyes.

"What else could it be?" Karin said, shrugging.

"…Well, I guess it does make sense," Fuu said. "Let's ask her about it tomorrow. I suppose it's not really any of our business what she does with her body after what she's been through, but she shouldn't be leaving stuff lying around where people can eat it accidentally."

"Mm, I guess," Yuna said. It did worry her that Sonoko was taking weed, but if anyone knew how to handle things it was her, so she supposed she shouldn't worry too much.

"So who's going to take the first turn watching the door? We don't want her wandering off and doing something humiliating, I guess," Karin said, although her tone suggested she wouldn't mind the chance to get more footage.

"You're right…I'll watch the door, it shouldn't take all that much longer to wear off right?" Yuna asked hopefully.

"I guess not," Fuu said. "Alright, the rest of us will stay down here either until she's properly sobered up or you want a rest."

"Thanks," said Yuna, ascending the stairs. She walked quietly to her door and stood opposite it, her ears catching the distinct sound of Togo, apparently unable to sleep, singing off key and lyrically butchered marching songs. She held back a giggle. She hated to admit it given how mortified Togo was going to be when she came back to her senses, but this was pretty funny.

* * *

"I have never been so humiliated in my entire life!" Togo cried as she sunk her reddened face into her hands.

"Look on the bright side, at least the Taisha stopped the videos people took of you from staying online," Karin said, munching on a dried sardine.

"People's memories don't fade just because there's no video evidence! I'll never be able to show my face in public again! I'll have to move cities!"

"N-Now Togo-san, there's no need to be like that," Yuna said, holding her hands up placatingly. "I'm sure no one will remember at all in a month or two…"

"How could they possibly forget that kind of deranged behaviour? I was prancing around like I was in some sort of musical! We're all well known from our Hero Club activities, people must have recognised me! Ugh…I can't believe what that Western garbage did to my mind…no wonder the rest of the world fell to the Vertexes so quickly. I bet that if our cuisine had been tainted by foreign elements Japan would have fallen within a day!"

"If you say so," Karin said. After talking to a red eyed, guilty Sonoko, they'd decided it was best not to tell Togo exactly what had happened until Sonoko had finished off the last of her stash, which she estimated would take around a month with normal usage. She'd immediately doubled her intake, for her dear Washii's sake. Said Washii had convinced herself that the brownie had fried her brain simply by nature of being inferior foreign food, and her raging racism had returned with a vengeance.

"I don't want any of you eating Western taint from now on, I won't allow my friends to damage their brains and humiliate themselves like that. From now on you should only eat Japanese sweets, understood? Of course, I don't want any citizen to end up harming themselves so rest assured I'll be petitioning the government to ban such harmful products. I have no idea why they've allowed them to proliferate for this long anyway, they should have phased them out in the first century," Togo emoted furiously, waving her arms around more than was strictly necessary.

"Oh come on, no one else has ever ended up like that from eating Western food. There was obviously just, uh, some sort of…contaminant in it. No ones going to ban brownies just because you had a bad time with them," Fuu said, seriously hoping that Sonoko burnt through her stash and set Togo straight quickly.

"Onee-chan's right Togo-senpai, you must have just ate a bad one without realising. Didn't it taste strange at all to you?" Itsuki asked.

"…Well yes, it did taste a little off I suppose…" Togo admitted.

"Then it's fine, right Togo-san? There's no need to petition the government or anything!" Yuna said, with no small amount of relief.

Togo muttered something under her breath, then said, "I bet that Western food is more vulnerable to contamination. I probably would have been fine if it was wagashi instead."

"Yeah, well, maybe this'll make you think twice before you eat food that people have left lying around," Karin said, aiming straight for the weak point.

"Karin-chan!" Yuna scolded her. Karin was unrepentant.

Togo flushed and looked down. "Ahem…well, yes. That was an error of judgement on my part…although Sonnochi was quite understanding. …N-Now that I think about it, where is she? I've hardly seen her the past few days…"

"Oh, uh, she's taking care of a personal thing. She'll be back soon enough," Fuu said.

"Is that so? She's so diligent when she puts her mind to it. It's very admirable." Togo made a note to visit her later to see if she could help. She could make up for taking some of her friends food without permission that way.

* * *

That evening, Togo knocked on Sonoko's door and, once again, found herself waiting an awfully long time for an answer. Just as she was about to give up she heard a dull thud and what sounded like muffled cursing from just behind the door, which then finally swung open to reveal a shabby looking, red eyed, squinting Sonoko. "Hey Yu-Yu did you bring me some doughnuts? Wait, you're not Yu-Yu…"

Sonoko stared ahead dully, and after a few seconds managed to focus her bleary eyes on Togo. "…Oh hi Washii! I didn't think I'd see you here!" she exclaimed joyfully. "What a coincidence!"

Togo stared at her with a slight frown. ' _She's acting like I did when I ate that terrible food…could she have made another bad batch? What ill luck,_ ' she thought as Sonoko grabbed hold of her cheek, pulling it to the side and sniggering. She then noticed the heavy, thick cloud of smoke hanging in the air. ' _Did she leave the cooker on? …No, this looks more like…cigarette smoke!?_ '

Her eyes widened. "Sonnochi, don't tell me you've been smoking!?" she exclaimed. To think that her oldest friend could be engaging in such activities without her knowing, all undoubtedly under the mentally sickening effects of the Western diet!

Sonoko finally realised that Togo being there wasn't a good omen. "No, no, no no Washii, no smoke, just, ummmmmmmm...chemistry homework."

"We don't have any chemistry homework," Togo retorted, glaring over at kitchen door where the smoke seemed to be coming from, wondering why it smelled so strange compared to the smoke she sometimes smelt when she walked part certain bars. She walked past her friend and opened the door, ready to deliver a stern lecture. What Togo saw there horrified her to the very core of her soul. There in the middle of the table was a bong, lying next to a large tray of brownies and a bag of…illicit drugs.

Togo gaped in horror, clutching her hands to her chest, then turned around and glared at her drugged up friend. "Sonnochi, what is the meaning of this!? I cannot believe that you would engage in such degenerate behaviour, especially when you're one of the few people in this world responsible for national defence! I-wait…that time I ate the brownie… oh dear Shinju-sama, it was a drug infused item! I was high on illegal drugs! This is a catastrophe! What if it gave me brain damage!? What if you've got brain damage!? …Wait, you thought I was Yuna-chan bringing you doughnuts! Don't tell me that she's been aiding and abetting you! Is she involved in this degenerate lifestyle too!? Are the others!?"

Sonoko squinted at her, not particularly able to follow what she was saying. "Oh Washii, you're always so uptight. Why don't you take a hit and eat some cream puffs with me? Hey, d'you, d'you think Vertexes taste like marshmallows? Weird huh?" Sonoko burst out laughing at the thought.

Togo staggered back in horror. "No…it's too late for you. I'm sorry Sonnochi, I should have realised something was wrong soon enough to save you from yourself. I'll remember you the way you were before. Goodbye, my oldest friend!" she choked, rushing past her out of the front door.

"Ehhhhhh…" Sonoko looked after her blankly for a few minutes, before gathering her wits enough to close the door. She lurched back into the kitchen and took another hit from her bong. "This is my last bag huh? How sad," she mused. She should be through it in a day or two. "Better make the most of it," she said, getting out a tub of soy sauce ice cream


End file.
